May 2, 2016
I'm In Business
I have decided to get into the food business. This is the new design of my product which I am revealing here. It's called, Meat Like Substance. Notice the cool package, which is everything. Each year seventeen thousand new food products are launched. Thirty two billion dollars is spent annually to sell this junk. I am after all, a marketing professional. People are willing to buy anything. The cigarette industry was great at this. Decades ago a cigarette executive noticed that they were throwing out the sweepings left over on the factory floor after the butts were all made. He took this useless sawdust and packaged it up and called it, KOOL. I'm going to do something similar. Take compost, all the bad ends of fruit and veggies, the tips cut off artichokes and the stumps of lettuce, the rotten broccoli, cauliflower, etc. I'm going to cook that stuff up with some rotten wine, soy sauce and leftover pickle juice. I'll turn that into little cube shapes, floating in the leftover gravy. As long as it's brown, I'll be fine. Presto. Lastly I am going to trademark the term: ORGANICISH. This will put my product over the top. Look for my ad campaign to start soon.