Mar 31, 2006

Home Run Derby


Bud Selig has opened up a probe of steroid use in baseball. They've hired Ex-senate majority leader George Mitchell to lead the investigation. They could save a lot of time and money by hiring me. Bonds, guilty. McGuire, guilty. Giambi, guilty. Sosa, guilty. Palmeiro, guilty. Canseco, guilty. Sheffield, guilty. It's too bad Bonds and McGuire never really broke Roger Marris record of 61 homers in a season. There was definitely funny business going on. It was impossible for decades to hit 60 homers in a season and all of a sudden, it's no problem for 30 homer a year dudes to be wacking 70. The biggest problem is that Bonds is probably going to break Henry Aaron's record of 755. One thing is for sure, Henry didn't take anything to enhance his performance except maybe a steak sandwich. Then there is the great Sadaharu Oh. He is Japan's all time home run king. This sucker hit 868 of them. I don't care what league he's in, that's an accomplishment. All he took to enhance his performance was an occasional tekkamaki and a few glasses of hot sake. Imagine if Aaron, Ruth and Sadaharu had taken steroids, they would've each hit over a thousand homers. And we all know Bonds couldn't have done that.

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